"To thine own self be true."
This quote has been crossing my mind quite a lot lately. People whisper in my ear. One tells me I should do one thing. Another tells me I should act another way. I try out one approach. I try out a second, and a third, and a fourth... It seems that I always fail. Then, I finally realized what was happening. I was not being true to myself.I was acting the way others would tell me to, responding the way others wanted me to, allowing myself to react the way others expected me to respond.
Though many of my friends feel that we are "getting old," I feel that we are only babies, just beginning to live our lives. I still have much to learn, and a long way to grow. After my 20ish years in this world, I have just now realized that there is no way I will make it out alive, without being true to myself.
As unfortunate as it sounds, no one in this world will look out for me, but me. I am very lucky to have parents who love me, friends who care for me, and plenty of acquaintances that I keep in fairly good relations with. Not one of these groups, though, will get me where I need to be. Even Mommy and Daddy cannot always kiss it and make it better. A broken heart does not mend so easily. No one can study for my lsats or go to law school for me. No one can take care of the drama I face with friends or foes alike. No one will go to the gym for me, or do my make up for me, or even my hair. No one will roll me out of bed in the morning.
It's me against the world, and in order for me to fight this battle we call life, I must be myself, for better or worse. I must improve myself... for myself, not for anyone else. It is my responsibility to be the best me I can be, without letting others interfere. This does not mean I should ignore everyone. I should listen to advice when it is given, and maybe even use it accordingly. I must do it my way though, or I am doomed to fail.
There is an old Yiddish proverb that is loosely translated to say that, "Man makes plans, while G-d laughs." There is a higher power. Whether you are religious or not. Destiny and fate exist. Who I am as a person internally has already been determined and established. Now, it is my job to determine the external factors; my look, my education, my career, my relationships. I have to be me. I gotta do me.
In the words of Ms. Brittney, "Love me. Hate me. Say what you want about me."
I have to be true to myself.
Are you being true to yourself?
Think about it. <3 Roxanne
