Though I had some disturbing dreams last night, I woke up oddly fresh. I woke up an hour before my alarm, and was ready to start my day. I only have my Italian class on Mondays, so I took my time getting ready. I showered, I went online, and I made my way to the metro.
It was an odd feeling being back in Rome. It wasn't quite home, but after being on break for 10 days, it did feel like a home away from home. I walked down the familiar street, no longer as an outsider.
The day was warm. I walked out in a t-shirt and jeans.... first time in a while. It was nice. The sun was out, and that too was greatly contributing to my good mood. When I got off the metro, I even had a chance to buy the boots I had been wanting to buy... half price of what I originally had planned! On my way to school, I couldn't wait to stop at my deli. I missed it last week. The lady behind the counter welcomed me back, and we exchanged a few words... only a few seeing as she speaks only Italian, and I can only say so much in Italian. lol
It was nice to see everyone back at school, though my feeling of distance from everyone remains. Somehow even though I am friendly with everyone, it is clear to me that I have no friends here. It's very lonely. I do not really feel connected to anyone, and I miss my friends back home.
Speaking of back home, I've started to wonder what it will be like when I get back. Have I been away so long that it won't be the same? People move on. People change. People forget. Have they forgotten about me? I too have changed. I'm not the same person I was when I got here. My experiences have influenced who I've become. In seven weeks, will my friends welcome me with open arms? Will it be like good old times that I miss so much, or will I be stuck once again all by myself, isolated from the crowd? Maybe I can bribe them with gifts. lol
After class, I made my way home, by myself as always. Though I ran into some classmates, I knew that's all I was to them. When we got off the bus, they went their way, and I went mine.
I stopped at the GS (grocery store) on the way home. What to cook tonight? Nothing like cooking for one...
On the way home, a few merchants said hello. They didn't do that before. They recognize me now. It's amazing how much we take for granted. At home, I put my groceries in the car and drive them home. Here, I walk them home. On the other hand, if I don't think about what I'm going to eat at home, there's probably some food in the fridge I can eat. I don't have that luxury here.
As I ponder all these thoughts, I wonder if it's just me searching for some attention, some contact with others? What would I do without this blog? It's too expensive to call everyone and tell them what's going on. Is anyone out there reading this? Am I talking to myself?
Signing Off,
Ciao Bella...
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