It has come to my attention that the end of each semester creates an inner turmoil inside of me. Though everyone is quite excited to be done with all the work, and more than ready for a break, there's more to it than that.
The last few weeks of any semester for most students is pure torture. It is equivocated with long days and even longer nights. Study sessions that go into the morning surprise no one. Students are bombarded with last minute projects, papers, and those dreaded finals that usually call for last minute cram sessions, which inevitably cause a week long pile up of pulling all-nighter after all-nighter. Baggy-eyed students wonder around like zombies day dreaming of warm summer days to come, longing for nights of partying that turn into mornings, rather than the hellishness that they are currently experiencing.
It is incredible what students actually pull off during these "hell" weeks. One would think that running solely on red bull, coffee, and cigarettes would literally demolish one's body. Yet, the average college student not only gets through it, but recovers from it with a relatively short 4-6hour nap and a drink after their last final, not necessarily in that order. At any younger or older age, this would not be simply impossible. Still, for 20-somethings everywhere, this is all part of the routine.
As one begins to wind down, and attend those last few classes, moods change. Students become miraculously, and almost unexpectedly aware of the fact that they have formed actual relationships with their classmates, and sometimes even their professors. As one of my professors said, "Well, if I don't see ya... have a nice life..." We all giggled and cheered that the class was over, yet a tinge of sadness filled the room. Many of us enjoyed this class. We made friends, class friends. The thing with class friends is, though, that once that class is over, the friendship rarely continues past the completion of the course. The bittersweet tinge sets in. How is it that we create these temporal relationships, that do in fact mean something at the time, and just as quickly let them go?
The end of the semester leads to many questions such as this. It is a time for reflection. Did I enjoy my classes? Did I learn anything? Or, did I just memorize a bunch of stuff to satisfy the criteria in order to get the grade I want? What came out of these four months? Have I changed at all? Am I more ready and capable to enter the real world and work in my field of "expertise"?
This semester I had a few epiphanies regarding these thoughts. I worked harder this semester academically than I have ever worked before. I made it a point to ensure that I would be raising my already decent GPA in order to impress law schools, when I apply in the fall. As I studied extra hard, and even sacrificed some fun and games with friends, I realized that the hard work will pay off. It has to. Right? And that is when I realized it. After three years of studying Strategic and Organizational Communications, with a concentration in Public Relations, I feel certain that if I were to embark upon this career path, I could confidently show an employer that I am worth their time, effort, and money. For the first time in three years, I felt as though I am just about ready and capable to go off into this world, and strive to become an expert in that field. Now, although I plan on going to law school, I know that the work ethic and time management skills that I have established will only lead me to success. For the first time in my college career I saw where my money was going, and realized just how far I have come since freshman year.
As I embark on my next journey... SENIOR YEAR... I am confident. I take with me the lessons I have learned, and look at the bittersweet twinge as a memory of my experiences. It's a reminder of the hardships I've faced, the rewards I was given, and the long road still ahead. For in the end, I am certain all this hard work will, in fact, pay off.
After all, it's like Lucimar Santos de Lima said,
"It doesn't hurt to be optimistic. You can always cry later." ;)
Great blog! Very interesting and mature! And fun to read!
ReplyDeleteLove ya. Mom